The Shadow Effect: Illuminating the Hidden Power of Your True Self Paperback by Deepak Chopra (Author) , Marianne Williamson (Author) , Debbie Ford (Author)


Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom Paperback by Rick Hanson (Author) , Richard Mendius (Collaborator)


Men, Women, and Worthiness: The Experience of Shame and the Power of Being Enough [Audiobook, CD]


Forty rules of love-Elif Shafak

Rule #1 pg. 67
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“How we see God is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves. If god brings to mind mostly fear and blame. It means there is too much gear and blame welled inside us. If we see God as full of love and compassion, so are we.

 Rule #2 Pg. 84
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“The path to the truth is a labor of the heart, not of the head. Make your heart your primary guide! Not your mind. Meet, challenge, and ultimately prevail over your nafas with your heart. Knowing your ego lead you to the knowledge of God.
Shams said: I wanted to hand all this knowledge, to one other person, neither a master, nor a disciple. I sought an equal—a companion.”

Rule #3 Pg. 102
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“Each and every comprehends the Holy Quran on a different level in Tandem with depth of his understanding. There are four levels of insight. The first level is the outer meaning and it is the one that the majority of the people are content with. Next is Batini—the inner level. Third, there is inner of the inner. And the fourth level is so deep it cannot be put into words and is therefore bound to remain indescribable. Shams said:
Scholar’s focus on sharia knows outer
Sufi “ on the inner meaning
Saint “ on the inner of the inner
Fourth prophet knows of those closes to God.”

“Do not judge the way people connect to God. Concluded Shams to each his own pay and his own prayer. God does not take us at our word. He looks deep into our heart.”

Rule #4 Pg. 119
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“You can study God through everything and everyone in the universe, because God is not confined in a mosque, synagogue or church. But if you are still in need of knowing where exactly his abode is. There is only one place to look for him; in the heart of true lover.”

Rule #5 Pg. 135
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“Intellect and love are made of different materials, “he said” Intellect ties people in knot, and risks nothing, but love dissolve all triangles and risk everything. Intellect is always cautious and advises, be aware to ecstasy. Whereas love says, oh never mind I take the plunge. Intellect cannot easily break down, whereas love can effortlessly reduce itself to rubble. But treasures are hidden among ruins. A broken heart hide treasure.”

Rule #6 Pg. 137
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“Most of the problems of the world stem from linguistic mistakes and simple misunderstandings. Don’t ever take words as face value. When you step into the zone of love, language, as we know it becomes obsolete. Hat which cannot be put into words can only be grasped through silence.”

Rule #7 Pg. 149
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“Loneliness and solitudes are two different things. When you are lonely, it is easy to delude yourself into believing that you are on the right path. Solitude is better for us as it means being alone without feeling lonely. But eventually it is best to find a person who will be you mirror. Remember only in another person’s heart can you truly see yourself and the presence of god with you.”

Rule #8 Pg. 152
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“Whatever happens in your life, no matter how troubling things might seem does not enter the neighborhood of despair. Even when all doors remain closed, God will open up a new path only for you. Be thankful! It is easy to be thankful when all is well. A Sufi it thankful not only for what he has been given but also for all that has been denied.”

Rule #9 Pg. 154
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“Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to be farsighted enough to trust the end result. What does patience mean to be so shortsighted as to not be able to see the outcome? The lover of God never run out of patience, for they know that time is needed for the never run out of patience, for they know that time is needed for the crescent moon to become full. “Shams was given permission by Monster Baba Zaman to god to Konya to meet Rumi.”

Rule #10 Pg. 176
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“The midwife knows that where there is no pain, the way for the baby cannot be opened and mother cannot give birth. Likewise, for a new self to be born, hardship is necessary. Just as clay needs to go through in tense heat to become strong. Love can only be perfected in pain.”

11th rule
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“East, West, South, and North make a little difference. No matter what your destination, just be sure to make every journey a journey within. If you travel within, you’ll travel the whole wild world and beyond.”
  
12th Golden Rule Pg. 180
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“There are more fake gurus and false teachers in this world then the number of stars in the whole universe. Don’t confuse power-driven, self-centered people with true mentor. A genuine spiritual master will not direct your attention to himself or herself and will expect absolute obedience or utter admiration from you, butt instead will help you to appreciate and admire your inner self. True mentors are as transparent as glass. They let the light of God pass through them.”

13th rule pg. 200
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“Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come.”
201. “The Quran tells us each an everyone of us was made in the best models.”

14th rule Pg. 202
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“God is busy with the completion of yourself, bot outwardly. He is fully occupied with you. Every human being is a work in progress that is slowly but informally moving toward perfection. We are each an unfinished work of art both waiting and striving to be completed. God deals with each of us separately because humanity is a fine art of skilled penmanship where every single dot is equally important for the entire picture.”

15th rule Pg. 216 another golden rule
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“It’s easy to love a perfect love, unblemished and infallible that he is what is far more difficult is to love fellow human beings with all their imperfections and defects. Remember, one can only know what one is capable of loving. There is no wisdom love unless we learn to God’s creation, we can neither truly love nor know God.”

Rule #16 Pg. 218 one other rule
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“Real filth is the one inside. The rest simply washes off. There is only one type of dirt that cannot be cleansed with pure water, and that is the stain of hatred and bigotry contaminating the soul. You can purify your body through abstinence and fasting, but only love will purify your heart.”

Rule #17 Pg. 221 One of my favorite ones
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“Whole contained within a single human being—you. Everything that you see around, including the things you might not be found of and even the people you despise or abhor present within you in varying degrees. Therefore, do not look for sheitan outside yourself either. The devil is not extraordinary force that attacks you from without. It is an ordinary voice within. If you get to know yourself fully, facing with honesty and hardness both your dark and bright side, you will arrive at a supreme form of consciousness. When a person knows herself or himself, he or she knows God.”
Rumi said, “God created suffering so that joy might appear through it’s opposite. Things become manifest through opposites. God has no opposite, He remains hidden.”
Shams told the desert rose: There are no such thing as the justice there. All you need to do to keep in mind how everything and everyone in the universe is interconnected. We are not hundreds and thousands of different things. We are all one.”

Rule #18 Pg. 268
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“If you want to change others treat you, you should first change the way you treat yourself, there is no way you can be loved. Once you achieve that stage, however, be thankful for every thorn that others might throw at you. It is a sign that you will soon be showered in rose.”
Shams said, “Every individual is self-sufficient in search for the divine.”

Rule #19 Pg. 277
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“We all created in his image, and yet we were each created different and unique. No two people are alike. No two hearts beat the same rhythm. If God had wanted everyone to be the same, he would have made it so. Therefore, disrespecting differences and imposing your thoughts on others is tantamount to disrespecting God’s holy scheme.”

Rule #20 Pg. 299
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“Life is a temporary loan, and this world is nothing but sketchy imitation of reality, only children would mistake a toy for a real thing. And yet human beings either become infatuated with the toy or disrespectfully break it and throw it aside. In this life stay away from all kind of extremities, for they will destroy inner balance. A Sufi always remains mild and moderate?!”

Rule #21 pg. 355
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“The human being has a unique place among God’s creations. I breathed into him my spirit God said. Each and every one of us without exception is designed to be God’s delegate on earth. Ask yourself, just how often do you believe like a delegate if you ever do say? Remember, if falls upon each of us to discover the divine spirit inside and live by it.”

Rule #22 pg. 357
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“Hell is here and now. So is heaven. Quit worrying about hell or dreaming about heaven, as they both present inside this very moment. Every time we fall in love, we ascend to heaven. Every time we hate, envy, or fight someone, we tumble straight into the fire.”

Rule #23 Pg. 403
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“The universe is one being. Everything and everyone is interconnected. Through an invisible web of stories. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are in a silent conversation. Do no harm. Practice compassion, and do not gossip behind anyone’s back—not even a seemingly, innocent remark. That words that comes out of our mouths do not vanish are perpetually stored in an infinite space, and they will come back to us in due time. One man’s pain will hurt us all. One man’s joy will make everyone smile.”

Rule #24 Pg. 410
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“This word is like Snowy Mountain that echoes your voice back. Whatever you speak, good or evil, will somehow come back to you. Therefore, if there is someone who harbors ill thoughts about you, saying similarly bad things about him will make only the matters worse. You will be locked in a vicious circle of malevolent energy. Instead for forty days and nights say and think nice things about that person. Everything will be different at the end of forty days, because you will be different inside.”

Rule #25 Pg. 439
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“The true Sufi is such that even when he is unjustly accused, attacked, condemned from all sides, he patiently endures, uttering not a single bad word about any of his critics. A Sufi never approaches blame. How can there be opponents or rivals or even “others” when there is no “self”. How can anyone blame when there is only one?”

Rule #26 Pg. 466
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“Rumi said, “If the wine drinker has a deep gentlemen inside him, he will show that when drunk. But he has hidden anger and arrogance, those appear. And since most people do, wine is forbidden to everyone.”

Rule #27 Pg. 471
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“If you want to strengthen your faith, you will need to soften inside. For your faith to be rock solid, your heart needs to be soft as a feather. Through and illness, loss, or fright, one way or another, we all face with incidents that teach us how to become less selfish and judgmental, and more compassionate and generous. Yet some of us learn the lesson and manage to become milder, while some others end up becoming even harsher than before. The only way to get closer to truth is to expands your heart so that it will encompass all humanity and still have room for more love.”

Rule #28 Pg. 476
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“Nothing should stand between yourself and God. Not Imams, priest, Rabbis, or any other custodians of moral religious hardship. Not spiritual masters, not even your faith. Believe in your values and your rules, but never lord them over others. If you keep breaking other people’s hearts, whatever religious duty you perform is no good. Stay away from all sorts of ideology, for they will blur your vision. Let God and only God be your guides, learn the truth.”

Rule #29 pg. 515
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“Shams told the Desert Rose, “While everyone is the world strive to get somewhere, only to leave it all behind after death you aim for the supreme stage of nothingness. Live this life as light and empty as the number zero. We are no different from a pot. It is not the decoration outside but the emptiness inside that holds us straight. Just like that, it is not what we aspire to achieve but the consciousness of nothingness that keeps us going. Shams believed that, “All idols that stood between the individual and God, had to be demolished including fame, wealth, rank, even religion.”

Rule #30 Pg. 559
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“Submission does not mean being weak or passive. It leads to neither fatalism nor capitulation. Just the opposite. True power resides in submission. A power comes from within those who submit to the divine even while wide world goes through turbulence after turbulence.”

Rule #31 Pg. 392
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“Even disbelieve can be positive. It is a not similarity that takes us a step forward, but blunt opposites. And all the opposites in the universe are present within each and every one of us. Therefore believers need the unbeliever residing within. And the nonbeliever should get to know the silent faithful in him. Until the day one reaches the stage of Insan-ikamil, the perfect human being. Faith is a gradual process and one that necessitates its seeming opposite disbelief.
Pg. 612 Kimya said, “10 days after I visited Sham’s room clad in silk, 10 days I fell ill, I plunged into a river into pure nonexistence. There I swam to my heart’s contents, finally sensing that this must be what the deepest reading of the Qur’an feels like- a drop of infinity.”

Rule #32 Pg. 630
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“This world is erected upon the principle of reciprocity. Neither a drop of the kindness nor speck of evil will remain unreciprocated. Fear not the plots, deceptions, or tricks of other people. If somebody is setting s trap, remember so id God. He is the biggest plotter. Not even a leaf stirs outside God’s knowledge; simply and fully believe in that. Whatever God does, he does beautifully.”

Rule #33 Pg. 639
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“God is meticulous clock master. So precise is his order that everything on earth happens in its own time. Neither a minute late nor a minute early. And for everyone without exception, the clock works accurately. For each there is a time to love and a time to die.”

Rule #34 Pg. 641
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“It is never too late to ask yourself, “ Am I ready to change the life I am living?” Am I ready to change within? “Even if a single day in your life is the same as the day before, it surely is a pity. At every moment and with each new breath, one should be renewed again. There is only one-way to born into a new life: To be due before death.”

Rule #35 Pg. 654
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“Whil the parts change, the whole remains the same. For every thief who departs this would, as new one is born. And a new one replaces every decent person who passes away. In this way not only nothing remain the same but also nothing ever really changes. For every Sufi who dies, another is born somewhere.”

Rule #36Pg. 666
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“A life without love is of no account. Don’t ask yourself what kind of love you should seek, spiritual, or material, divine, or mundane. Eastern or Western… Divisions only lead to more divisions. Love has no labels, no definitions. It is what it is, pure and simple, “Love is the water of life. And a lover is a soul of fire. The universe turns differently when fire loves water.”