Forty rules of love-Elif Shafak
Rule #1 pg. 67
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“How we see God is a direct reflection of how we see
ourselves. If god brings to mind mostly fear and blame. It means there is too
much gear and blame welled inside us. If we see God as full of love and
compassion, so are we.
Rule #2 Pg. 84
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“The path to the truth is a labor of the heart, not of the
head. Make your heart your primary guide! Not your mind. Meet, challenge, and
ultimately prevail over your nafas with your heart. Knowing your ego lead you
to the knowledge of God.
Shams said: I wanted to hand all this knowledge, to
one other person, neither a master, nor a disciple. I sought an equal—a
companion.”
Rule #3 Pg. 102
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“Each and every comprehends the Holy Quran on a different
level in Tandem with depth of his understanding. There are four levels of
insight. The first level is the outer meaning and it is the one that the
majority of the people are content with. Next is Batini—the inner level. Third,
there is inner of the inner. And the fourth level is so deep it cannot be put
into words and is therefore bound to remain indescribable. Shams said:
Scholar’s focus on sharia knows outer
Sufi “ on the inner meaning
Saint “ on the inner of the inner
Fourth prophet knows of those closes to God.”
“Do not judge the way people connect to God. Concluded Shams
to each his own pay and his own prayer. God does not take us at our word. He
looks deep into our heart.”
Rule #4 Pg. 119
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“You can study God through everything and everyone in the
universe, because God is not confined in a mosque, synagogue or church. But if
you are still in need of knowing where exactly his abode is. There is only one
place to look for him; in the heart of true lover.”
Rule #5 Pg. 135
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“Intellect and love are made of different materials, “he
said” Intellect ties people in knot, and risks nothing, but love dissolve all
triangles and risk everything. Intellect is always cautious and advises, be
aware to ecstasy. Whereas love says, oh never mind I take the plunge. Intellect
cannot easily break down, whereas love can effortlessly reduce itself to
rubble. But treasures are hidden among ruins. A broken heart hide treasure.”
Rule #6 Pg. 137
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“Most of the problems of the world stem from linguistic
mistakes and simple misunderstandings. Don’t ever take words as face value.
When you step into the zone of love, language, as we know it becomes obsolete.
Hat which cannot be put into words can only be grasped through silence.”
Rule #7 Pg. 149
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“Loneliness and solitudes are two different things. When you
are lonely, it is easy to delude yourself into believing that you are on the
right path. Solitude is better for us as it means being alone without feeling
lonely. But eventually it is best to find a person who will be you mirror.
Remember only in another person’s heart can you truly see yourself and the
presence of god with you.”
Rule #8 Pg. 152
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“Whatever happens in your life, no matter how troubling
things might seem does not enter the neighborhood of despair. Even when all
doors remain closed, God will open up a new path only for you. Be thankful! It
is easy to be thankful when all is well. A Sufi it thankful not only for what
he has been given but also for all that has been denied.”
Rule #9 Pg. 154
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“Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to be
farsighted enough to trust the end result. What does patience mean to be so shortsighted
as to not be able to see the outcome? The lover of God never run out of
patience, for they know that time is needed for the never run out of patience,
for they know that time is needed for the crescent moon to become full. “Shams
was given permission by Monster Baba Zaman to god to Konya to meet Rumi.”
Rule #10 Pg. 176
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“The midwife knows that where there is no pain, the way for
the baby cannot be opened and mother cannot give birth. Likewise, for a new self
to be born, hardship is necessary. Just as clay needs to go through in tense
heat to become strong. Love can only be perfected in pain.”
11th rule
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“East, West, South, and North make a little difference. No
matter what your destination, just be sure to make every journey a journey
within. If you travel within, you’ll travel the whole wild world and beyond.”
12th Golden Rule Pg. 180
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“There are more fake gurus and false teachers in this world
then the number of stars in the whole universe. Don’t confuse power-driven, self-centered
people with true mentor. A genuine spiritual master will not direct your
attention to himself or herself and will expect absolute obedience or utter
admiration from you, butt instead will help you to appreciate and admire your
inner self. True mentors are as transparent as glass. They let the light of God
pass through them.”
13th rule pg. 200
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“Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead
let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside
down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to
come.”
201. “The Quran tells us each an everyone of us was made in
the best models.”
14th rule Pg. 202
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“God is busy with the completion of yourself, bot outwardly.
He is fully occupied with you. Every human being is a work in progress that is
slowly but informally moving toward perfection. We are each an unfinished work
of art both waiting and striving to be completed. God deals with each of us
separately because humanity is a fine art of skilled penmanship where every
single dot is equally important for the entire picture.”
15th rule Pg. 216 another golden rule
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“It’s easy to love a perfect love, unblemished and
infallible that he is what is far more difficult is to love fellow human beings
with all their imperfections and defects. Remember, one can only know what one
is capable of loving. There is no wisdom love unless we learn to God’s
creation, we can neither truly love nor know God.”
Rule #16 Pg. 218 one other rule
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“Real filth is the one inside. The rest simply washes off.
There is only one type of dirt that cannot be cleansed with pure water, and
that is the stain of hatred and bigotry contaminating the soul. You can purify
your body through abstinence and fasting, but only love will purify your heart.”
Rule #17 Pg. 221 One of my favorite ones
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“Whole contained within a single human being—you. Everything
that you see around, including the things you might not be found of and even
the people you despise or abhor present within you in varying degrees.
Therefore, do not look for sheitan outside yourself either. The devil is not
extraordinary force that attacks you from without. It is an ordinary voice
within. If you get to know yourself fully, facing with honesty and hardness
both your dark and bright side, you will arrive at a supreme form of
consciousness. When a person knows herself or himself, he or she knows God.”
Rumi said, “God created suffering so that joy might appear
through it’s opposite. Things become manifest through opposites. God has no
opposite, He remains hidden.”
Shams told the desert rose: There are no such thing as the
justice there. All you need to do to keep in mind how everything and everyone
in the universe is interconnected. We are not hundreds and thousands of different
things. We are all one.”
Rule #18 Pg. 268
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“If you want to change others treat you, you should first
change the way you treat yourself, there is no way you can be loved. Once you
achieve that stage, however, be thankful for every thorn that others might
throw at you. It is a sign that you will soon be showered in rose.”
Shams said, “Every individual is self-sufficient in search
for the divine.”
Rule #19 Pg. 277
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“We all created in his image, and yet we were each created
different and unique. No two people are alike. No two hearts beat the same
rhythm. If God had wanted everyone to be the same, he would have made it so.
Therefore, disrespecting differences and imposing your thoughts on others is
tantamount to disrespecting God’s holy scheme.”
Rule #20 Pg. 299
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“Life is a temporary loan, and this world is nothing but
sketchy imitation of reality, only children would mistake a toy for a real
thing. And yet human beings either become infatuated with the toy or
disrespectfully break it and throw it aside. In this life stay away from all
kind of extremities, for they will destroy inner balance. A Sufi always remains
mild and moderate?!”
Rule #21 pg. 355
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“The human being has a unique place among God’s creations. I
breathed into him my spirit God said. Each and every one of us without
exception is designed to be God’s delegate on earth. Ask yourself, just how
often do you believe like a delegate if you ever do say? Remember, if falls
upon each of us to discover the divine spirit inside and live by it.”
Rule #22 pg. 357
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“Hell is here and now. So is heaven. Quit worrying about
hell or dreaming about heaven, as they both present inside this very moment. Every
time we fall in love, we ascend to heaven. Every time we hate, envy, or fight
someone, we tumble straight into the fire.”
Rule #23 Pg. 403
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“The universe is one being. Everything and everyone is
interconnected. Through an invisible web of stories. Whether we are aware of it
or not, we are in a silent conversation. Do no harm. Practice compassion, and
do not gossip behind anyone’s back—not even a seemingly, innocent remark. That
words that comes out of our mouths do not vanish are perpetually stored in an
infinite space, and they will come back to us in due time. One man’s pain will
hurt us all. One man’s joy will make everyone smile.”
Rule #24 Pg. 410
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“This word is like Snowy Mountain that echoes your voice
back. Whatever you speak, good or evil, will somehow come back to you.
Therefore, if there is someone who harbors ill thoughts about you, saying
similarly bad things about him will make only the matters worse. You will be
locked in a vicious circle of malevolent energy. Instead for forty days and
nights say and think nice things about that person. Everything will be
different at the end of forty days, because you will be different inside.”
Rule #25 Pg. 439
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“The true Sufi is such that even when he is unjustly
accused, attacked, condemned from all sides, he patiently endures, uttering not
a single bad word about any of his critics. A Sufi never approaches blame. How
can there be opponents or rivals or even “others” when there is no “self”. How
can anyone blame when there is only one?”
Rule #26 Pg. 466
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“Rumi said, “If the wine drinker has a deep gentlemen inside
him, he will show that when drunk. But he has hidden anger and arrogance, those
appear. And since most people do, wine is forbidden to everyone.”
Rule #27 Pg. 471
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“If you want to strengthen your faith, you will need to
soften inside. For your faith to be rock solid, your heart needs to be soft as
a feather. Through and illness, loss, or fright, one way or another, we all
face with incidents that teach us how to become less selfish and judgmental,
and more compassionate and generous. Yet some of us learn the lesson and manage
to become milder, while some others end up becoming even harsher than before.
The only way to get closer to truth is to expands your heart so that it will
encompass all humanity and still have room for more love.”
Rule #28 Pg. 476
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“Nothing should stand between yourself and God. Not Imams,
priest, Rabbis, or any other custodians of moral religious hardship. Not
spiritual masters, not even your faith. Believe in your values and your rules,
but never lord them over others. If you keep breaking other people’s hearts,
whatever religious duty you perform is no good. Stay away from all sorts of
ideology, for they will blur your vision. Let God and only God be your guides,
learn the truth.”
Rule #29 pg. 515
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“Shams told the Desert Rose, “While everyone is the world
strive to get somewhere, only to leave it all behind after death you aim for
the supreme stage of nothingness. Live this life as light and empty as the
number zero. We are no different from a pot. It is not the decoration outside
but the emptiness inside that holds us straight. Just like that, it is not what
we aspire to achieve but the consciousness of nothingness that keeps us going.
Shams believed that, “All idols that stood between the individual and God, had
to be demolished including fame, wealth, rank, even religion.”
Rule #30 Pg. 559
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“Submission does not mean being weak or passive. It leads to
neither fatalism nor capitulation. Just the opposite. True power resides in
submission. A power comes from within those who submit to the divine even while
wide world goes through turbulence after turbulence.”
Rule #31 Pg. 392
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“Even disbelieve can be positive. It is a not similarity
that takes us a step forward, but blunt opposites. And all the opposites in the
universe are present within each and every one of us. Therefore believers need
the unbeliever residing within. And the nonbeliever should get to know the
silent faithful in him. Until the day one reaches the stage of Insan-ikamil,
the perfect human being. Faith is a gradual process and one that necessitates
its seeming opposite disbelief.
Pg. 612 Kimya said, “10 days after I visited Sham’s room clad
in silk, 10 days I fell ill, I plunged into a river into pure nonexistence.
There I swam to my heart’s contents, finally sensing that this must be what the
deepest reading of the Qur’an feels like- a drop of infinity.”
Rule #32 Pg. 630
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“This world is erected upon the principle of reciprocity.
Neither a drop of the kindness nor speck of evil will remain unreciprocated.
Fear not the plots, deceptions, or tricks of other people. If somebody is
setting s trap, remember so id God. He is the biggest plotter. Not even a leaf
stirs outside God’s knowledge; simply and fully believe in that. Whatever God
does, he does beautifully.”
Rule #33 Pg. 639
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“God is meticulous clock master. So precise is his order
that everything on earth happens in its own time. Neither a minute late nor a
minute early. And for everyone without exception, the clock works accurately.
For each there is a time to love and a time to die.”
Rule #34 Pg. 641
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“It is never too late to ask yourself, “ Am I ready to
change the life I am living?” Am I ready to change within? “Even if a single
day in your life is the same as the day before, it surely is a pity. At every
moment and with each new breath, one should be renewed again. There is only one-way
to born into a new life: To be due before death.”
Rule #35 Pg. 654
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“Whil the parts change, the whole remains the same. For
every thief who departs this would, as new one is born. And a new one replaces
every decent person who passes away. In this way not only nothing remain the
same but also nothing ever really changes. For every Sufi who dies, another is
born somewhere.”
Rule #36Pg. 666
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“A life without love is of no account. Don’t ask yourself
what kind of love you should seek, spiritual, or material, divine, or mundane.
Eastern or Western… Divisions only lead to more divisions. Love has no labels, no
definitions. It is what it is, pure and simple, “Love is the water of life. And
a lover is a soul of fire. The universe turns differently when fire loves
water.”
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