Love Does: Discover a Secretly Incredible Life in an Ordinary World by Bob Goff and Donald Miller
“I used to be afraid of failing at something that really mattered to me, but now I'm more afraid of succeeding at things that don't matter.”
“I used to want to fix people, but now I just want to be with them.”
“...love is never stationary.”
“Failure is just part of the process, and it's not just okay; it's better than okay. God doesn't want failure to shut us down. God didn't make it a three-strikes-and-you're-out sort of thing. It's more about how God helps us dust ourselves off so we can swing for the fences again. And all of this without keeping a meticulous record of our screw-ups.”
“You don't need a plan; you just need to be present.”
“But the kind of love that God created and demonstrated is a costly one because it involves sacrifice and presence. It's a love that operates more like a sign language than being spoken outright.”
“Simply put: love does.”
"The thing I love about God is He intentionally guides people into failure.”
“Living a life fully engaged and full of whimsy and the kind of things that love does is something most people plan to do, but along the way they just kind of forget. Their dreams become one of those "we'll go there next time" deferrals. The sad thing is, for many there is no "next time" because passing on the chance to cross over is an overall attitude toward life rather than a single decision.
“I don't think anyone aims to be typical, really. Most people even vow to themselves some time in high school or college not to be typical. But still, they just kind of loop back to it somehow. Like the circular rails of a train at an amusement park, the scripts we know offer a brand of security, of predictability, of safety for us. But the problem is, they only take us where we've already been. They loop us back to places where everyone can easily go, not necessarily where we were made to go. Living a different kind of life takes some guts and grit and a new way of seeing things.”
“Grace works that way. It's a kind word from a gentle person with an impossible prayer. It's a force sometimes transmitted best hand to hand in a dark
“I used to think God wouldn’t talk to me, but now I know I’m just selective with what I choose to hear.”
“Whimsy doesn't care if you are the driver or the passenger; all that matters is that you are on your way.”
“...we need to stop plotting the course and instead just land the plane on our plans to make a difference by getting to the "do" part of faith"
“That's one of those things about love. It always assumes it can find a way to express itself.”
“When you are in high school, you don't give much thought to what you can't do. For most people, that gets learned later, and for still fewer, gets unlearned for the rest of life.”
“Most people need love and acceptance a lot more than they need advice.”
“I want to go barefoot because it’s holy ground; I want to be running because time is short and none of us has as much runway as we think we do; and I want it to be a fight because that’s where we can make a difference. That’s what love does.”
“I used to think you had to be special for God to use you, but now I know you simply need to say yes.”
“Whimsy...needs to be fully experienced to be fully known. Whimsy doesn't care if you are the driver or the passenger; all that matters is that you are on your way.”
“Finally, and definitely the coolest part, is that you get a card from the State Department that gives you diplomatic immunity. I wasn't exactly sure what diplomatic immunity meant, so I asked around to see if I could kill someone. Not someone important, of course, but someone normal - like Doug. I never got a call back on the question so I'm operating under the assumption that I can.”
“Then the nickel must have dropped when he realized I had pranked him as he groaned under his breath, "Bob!"
Doug's been trying to get back at me for years. But he can't, because I'm a lawyer. You don't get into and through law school like I did without gaining a few street smarts.”
“I learned that faith isn’t about knowing all of the right stuff or obeying a list of rules. It’s something more, something more costly because it being present and making a sacrifice. Perhaps that’s why Jesus is sometimes called Immanuel - “God with us.” I think that’s what God had in mind, for Jesus to be present, to just be with us. It’s also what He has in mind for us when it comes to mind
“That’s because love is never stationary. In the end, love doesn’t just keep thinking about it or keep planning for it. Simply put: love does.”
“I think God’s hope and plan for us is pretty simple to figure out. For those who resonate with formulas, here it is: add your whole life, your loves, your passions, and your interests together with what God said He wants us to be about, and that’s your answer.”
“The people who slowly became typical have the greatest problem wrapping their minds around a dynamic friendship with an invisible, alive God.”
“As I sit on my island, it becomes clears that we need to stop plotting the course and instead just land the plane on our plans to make a difference by getting to the "do" part of faith. That's because love is never stationary. In the end, love doesn't just keep thinking about it or keep planning for it. Simply put: love does.
“We all want to have a place where we can dream and escape anything that wraps steel bands around our imagination and creativity.”
“the words people say to us not only have shelf life but have the ability to shape life.”
“We need to make our faith our very own love story.”
“So he chose to keep his stuff rather than follow Jesus.”
“You weren’t just an incredible idea that God never got around to making. The next step happened for the world when God dropped you on the planet.”
“I used to want to fix people, but now I just want to be with them.”
“...love is never stationary.”
“Failure is just part of the process, and it's not just okay; it's better than okay. God doesn't want failure to shut us down. God didn't make it a three-strikes-and-you're-out sort of thing. It's more about how God helps us dust ourselves off so we can swing for the fences again. And all of this without keeping a meticulous record of our screw-ups.”
“You don't need a plan; you just need to be present.”
“But the kind of love that God created and demonstrated is a costly one because it involves sacrifice and presence. It's a love that operates more like a sign language than being spoken outright.”
“Simply put: love does.”
"The thing I love about God is He intentionally guides people into failure.”
“Living a life fully engaged and full of whimsy and the kind of things that love does is something most people plan to do, but along the way they just kind of forget. Their dreams become one of those "we'll go there next time" deferrals. The sad thing is, for many there is no "next time" because passing on the chance to cross over is an overall attitude toward life rather than a single decision.
“I don't think anyone aims to be typical, really. Most people even vow to themselves some time in high school or college not to be typical. But still, they just kind of loop back to it somehow. Like the circular rails of a train at an amusement park, the scripts we know offer a brand of security, of predictability, of safety for us. But the problem is, they only take us where we've already been. They loop us back to places where everyone can easily go, not necessarily where we were made to go. Living a different kind of life takes some guts and grit and a new way of seeing things.”
“Grace works that way. It's a kind word from a gentle person with an impossible prayer. It's a force sometimes transmitted best hand to hand in a dark
“I used to think God wouldn’t talk to me, but now I know I’m just selective with what I choose to hear.”
“Whimsy doesn't care if you are the driver or the passenger; all that matters is that you are on your way.”
“...we need to stop plotting the course and instead just land the plane on our plans to make a difference by getting to the "do" part of faith"
“That's one of those things about love. It always assumes it can find a way to express itself.”
“When you are in high school, you don't give much thought to what you can't do. For most people, that gets learned later, and for still fewer, gets unlearned for the rest of life.”
“Most people need love and acceptance a lot more than they need advice.”
“I want to go barefoot because it’s holy ground; I want to be running because time is short and none of us has as much runway as we think we do; and I want it to be a fight because that’s where we can make a difference. That’s what love does.”
“I used to think you had to be special for God to use you, but now I know you simply need to say yes.”
“Whimsy...needs to be fully experienced to be fully known. Whimsy doesn't care if you are the driver or the passenger; all that matters is that you are on your way.”
“Finally, and definitely the coolest part, is that you get a card from the State Department that gives you diplomatic immunity. I wasn't exactly sure what diplomatic immunity meant, so I asked around to see if I could kill someone. Not someone important, of course, but someone normal - like Doug. I never got a call back on the question so I'm operating under the assumption that I can.”
“Then the nickel must have dropped when he realized I had pranked him as he groaned under his breath, "Bob!"
Doug's been trying to get back at me for years. But he can't, because I'm a lawyer. You don't get into and through law school like I did without gaining a few street smarts.”
“I learned that faith isn’t about knowing all of the right stuff or obeying a list of rules. It’s something more, something more costly because it being present and making a sacrifice. Perhaps that’s why Jesus is sometimes called Immanuel - “God with us.” I think that’s what God had in mind, for Jesus to be present, to just be with us. It’s also what He has in mind for us when it comes to mind
“That’s because love is never stationary. In the end, love doesn’t just keep thinking about it or keep planning for it. Simply put: love does.”
“I think God’s hope and plan for us is pretty simple to figure out. For those who resonate with formulas, here it is: add your whole life, your loves, your passions, and your interests together with what God said He wants us to be about, and that’s your answer.”
“The people who slowly became typical have the greatest problem wrapping their minds around a dynamic friendship with an invisible, alive God.”
“As I sit on my island, it becomes clears that we need to stop plotting the course and instead just land the plane on our plans to make a difference by getting to the "do" part of faith. That's because love is never stationary. In the end, love doesn't just keep thinking about it or keep planning for it. Simply put: love does.
“We all want to have a place where we can dream and escape anything that wraps steel bands around our imagination and creativity.”
“the words people say to us not only have shelf life but have the ability to shape life.”
“We need to make our faith our very own love story.”
“So he chose to keep his stuff rather than follow Jesus.”
“You weren’t just an incredible idea that God never got around to making. The next step happened for the world when God dropped you on the planet.”
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary D Chapman
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dr. Chapman explains how important it is for couples to understand how each other and themselves both give and receive love. It is possible for couples to truly love each other, but to truly feel unloved because they don’t think the same about giving and receiving love.Everybody generally has their own primary love languages for receiving love and giving love. It may be the same for giving/receiving, and it may be different. If a husband does not meet the primary love language of his wife, she might not sense his true feelings and start to be unsatisfied with their relationship.Understanding your spouse’s love language and acting accordingly will fill their “Love Tank”. The “Love Tank” analogy is a great metaphor for describing how loved someone feels. Like a gas tank in a car, our lives run best when our Love Tank is filled and constantly being topped off. The alternative is running on fumes and burning out.Meeting people’s primary love language consistently will fill up their love tank and help them feel loved like they need. But if a spouse fails to meet this primary love language, it might leave their “Love Tank” empty, which leads to feelings of being unloved and issues in relationships.Below is a summary of Dr. Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages with three questions at the bottom to discern what is your primary love language:Summary: What are the Five Love Languages?
1. Words of Affirmation
“If this is your love language, you feel most cared for when your partner is open and expressive in telling you how wonderful they think you are, how much they appreciate you, etc.”2. Acts of Service
“If your partner offering to watch the kids so you can go to the gym (or relieving you of some other task) gets your heart going, then this is your love language.”3. Affection
“This love language is just as it sounds. A warm hug, a kiss, touch, and sexual intimacy make you feel most loved when this is your love language.”4. Quality Time
“This love language is about being together, fully present and engaged in the activity at hand, no matter how trivial.”5. Gifts
“Your partner taking the time to give you a gift can make you feel appreciated.”How to figure out your primary language:
- Your upbringing can speak into your love language. How did you parents show you love growing up? What made you feel the most loved as a child? There is a high probability that is your primary love language.
- When you really want to show someone you care about them, what first comes to your mind to show it? Your most basic instincts can show your primary love language as well.
- Painful relational experiences can show your primary love language. If someone close to you hurt you in a deep way or neglected to show love the way you wanted, perhaps the deep hurt/dissatisfaction came because the way you most feel loved was not met. This means that what they failed to do is what you value the most because it is your primary love language.
Top Quotes from The Five Love Languages:
“Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving.”“Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love.”“People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.”“The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love.”“In fact, true love cannot begin until the in-love experience has run its course.”“People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.”
The texts that I am sending you is from the book "knowing Heart" by Kabir Helminski. You can post it under 5 languages of love.
Thank you,
Marjan
Behind our sadness and anxiety is a simple lack of love, which translates into a lack of meaning and purpose.
We have searched for love in all the wrong places: in building ourselves up, in making ourselves more special, more perfect, more powerful. love's substitute are driving the world. We strive after anything but love, because love is so close that we overlook it.
For most people,me even love is primarily a form of desire, preference, or obsession; love, in other words, has been confused with self gratification. And for most people, "spirituality" is reduced to a way of feeling good about themselves.
It doesn't matter what we have accomplished, what recognition we have received, what we own; there is nothing as sweet as loving- not necessarily being loved, but just loving. The more we love- the richer we are. Nothing is more beautiful or more sacred than the impulse of love we feel for a friend, a child, a parent, a partner. Nothing would be sweeter than to be able to love everywhere and always.
Rumi has written, " Whatever I have said about love,when love comes, I am ashamed to speak."
We are students in the school of love, although it may take us a long time and much suffering to admit this fact. Something obstinately refuses to see the obvious. It is amazing how stubborn and slow we are, and how often we still forget. We forget whenever we think ourselves more important than others, whenever we see our own desires and goals as more important the feelings and well- being of those we love. We forget whenever we blame others for what we ourselves have been guilty of. We forget whenever we lose sight of the fact that in this school of love it is love that we all are trying to learn.
We live in an ocean of love, but because it is so near to us, we sometimes need to be shocked or hurt, or experience some loss, in order to be aware of the nearness and importance of love.
The most elementary and limited form of love is desire, or eros, to use a more suggestive term. We all have desire, or passion. At the most basic level it is animal desire-desire of desirable, love of lovable. Eros is attracted to what it finds desirable or beautiful. It's power is valuable as long as we are not enslaved by it, but often Eros knows no limits in its desire.
The domain of Eros is attraction and pleasure. Eros is the power of the universe as it is reflected at the level of our natural, animal self. From the spiritual point of view, Eros is derivative, metaphoric love. It searches without satisfaction through many objects of desire but never reaches full satisfaction.
Philos is a form of love characterized by sharing or participation. It is a more comprehensive form of love, wider, less self centered than desire. It brings people into relationships. Philos engenders all forms of sharing: family life, social clubs and political organizations, brotherhoods, sisterhoods, cultural bonds.
The highest, most comprehensive level of love is agape. A spiritual, objective, unconditional love. Immature love needs to be loved; mature love simply loves. Agape, or unconditional love, can dissolve the false self. By removing the obstacles we put in the way of agape, by grounding ourselves in the principles and knowledge of love, and by being with those who love spirit, we may come to live within the reality of agape. Eventually agape will refine and expand our sense of who we are to infinite dimensions. It will dissolve our separate existence. Then, instead of seeking the security and consolation of the ego, instead of seeking to be loved, we will be love itself.
May we all find agape in our lives and become love itself.
Love,
Marjan
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